Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. “Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit. Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs. The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings. Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.Įvery day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.Ī cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.Īfter the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing. What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous. Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says 'Do you smell fish?'ĭo you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy. I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize. What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium. What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene. The shovel was a ground breaking invention.Ī scarecrow says, 'This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans.'Ī Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, 'Make me one with everything.'ĭid you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now. How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero. Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap. What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison. What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese. There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation. What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web. How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed. My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well. I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems. and pulled a mussel.ĭo you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time. Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long! Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

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